Let's talk about change.

Change is inevitable, it comes and goes like the passing wind and you don't really notice how much has changed until you sit back and reflect. 

The past few months haven't been completely brilliant, I'm not one to complain and it's only now, that I look back, I realise that I'm only just starting to kick myself into 2015, which is pretty sad. That's not to say that I've been hiding in my uni room with the blinds drawn and the lights off. I've been out doing things, and I've been a happy chappy, but just not as much of one as I usually am. People always bring out the classic phrase 'new year, new me' at 00:01 am every 1st of January however I've never really managed to hold onto that. I think eating too much over Christmas and not exercising as much as I usually do put me in a majorly lethargic state of mind. I wasn't eating well, therefore I felt lazy which meant I didn't have the energy to exercise. It's a vicious circle which I've finally managed to get myself out of. That lethargic nature however also swept across this blog too, I felt that because I wasn't living my life how I wanted to or eating as well as I usually did, I couldn't talk about it the same way as I just didn't feel myself and for that I apologise. 

Uni in itself is good at the moment, I love my friends here and the societies I'm in. I'm excited for next year to do all of the media and graphics work for trent surf but I don't know if my course is exactly for me. 

I wen't to University with the intention of furthering my creative abilities however so far, a lot of projects have been group work and mostly focussing on marketing, which is interesting and it's a new thing to learn, however not exactly what I pictured myself doing when looking at Uni courses. I've always been a hands on person, I would set myself projects each weekend, varying from making 7ft 3D crescent moons out of chicken wire and paper mache or creating butterfly headdresses or taking photos on spontaneous adventures. I love to make and create, it's who I am and the fact that most of the time I'm sitting behind a laptop creating booklets on indesign is a bit of a shame. I am enjoying that aspect but it's just not exactly what I expected. I chose my course because I didn't want to specialise in one art form and the way that it seemed, this course would give me that. I love learning new things and there are aspects of my course which I do enjoy however If I put it bluntly, I don't really think a degree is necessary in the creative industry at all. If you have a thirst to learn, the determination to get out there, the will power and a tonne of passion to keep yourself going then I would really question whether a degree is what you need. I got a high first in my first term which was awesome, but this term, so much of it has been group work which has been a bit unevenly distributed onto myself which has made me quite frustrated and less motivated for this terms work which just sucks. I've discovered that although I do enjoy group work, I love to challenge myself in solo projects too. I'm going to stick with FCP and see what it can teach me and I'll let you know if my feelings towards it change. 

There's been a change in personal relationships as well which has been a quite a journey this past year. Obviously it's very personal so I don't feel entirely comfortable putting my love life in the public domain however sometimes it's just the wrong place at the wrong time. Needless to say it's a personal journey which happens to everyone at least once in their lives however just right now, it's sucky. It's a new adventure and one where this Alexa needs to find herself, it's just strange going from something you're so used to having for 3 years to nothing however it's new, different and refreshing in some ways. Sometimes it sucks but it always will at the beginning, only time will tell and you never know what the future holds.

So that's the end of this strange personal release. I guess the point that I'm trying to get across is that although change and feelings are sometimes hard, sometimes they are completely necessary and the outcome at the end may be far better and more hopeful than you could ever imagine  So follow your heart and do what your gut tells you and keep living the twisty road we call life with as much love and happiness as you can. 

I would usually refrain from posting really personal details like this on this blog however I felt I needed to at least explain why I've been so absent. I promise to post more on the blog from now on, and for those who've stuck with me in the past few months, thank you, you're absolute gems.

Peace out

Alexa